These days, my Instagram feed is full of people who have decided to eliminate alcohol from their lives—tallying their days without a sip of booze and touting the benefits of a sober lifestyle. I find myself scrolling through these posts with genuine interest—and a tiny pang of guilt—as I sip my Friday night martini.
I’ve always been someone who enjoys alcohol in moderation—drawn less to the buzz and more to the ritual of convening with friends and celebrating special (or even ordinary) occasions. I love how drinks can be a way to connect to different cultures and enjoy discovering the specific libations unique to each place I travel. As I began to make cocktails at home, it intrigued me how the right ingredients, in the right amounts, could create a balanced, delicious, and memorable libation.
Lately, though, it feels like my simple pleasure has fallen out of cultural favor, as wellness influencers promote alcohol-free living not just as a personal choice but a moral one. And they’re intent on recruiting others—creating carousel posts that list off the reasons you too might want to consider giving up alcohol with the promise of a better life on the other side. To me, it feels like a form of performative wellness—like “clean eating” or the never-miss-a-Monday mindset—that leaves little room for imperfection. You’re either enlightened or indulgent, no middle ground allowed.
“We’re completely inundated all day, every day with messages about our bodies and lifestyles. It only takes a 10-second doomscroll to feel like you’re not good enough, not doing enough, or behind in life,” Kri Gore, LMFT, a Philadelphia-based psychotherapist tells SELF. “If you find yourself in a thought spiral about sober lifestyles and how alcohol is poison, remind yourself how all of these external messages aren’t taking your unique self into account. You know yourself best.”
That’s easy to say but trickier to put into practice, as the pressure to accept a sober-curious lifestyle comes in from all sides. These days, mocktails steal the spotlight on restaurant menus, Dry January is practically mandatory in some circles, and the US drinking rate is at an all-time low—especially among younger adults. Of course, there are good reasons for this—primarily that, in 2023, the World Health Organization declared that there is no amount of alcohol that is safe for our health. After years of being told that light alcohol consumption was beneficial, new research emerged linking it with early death and a number of conditions, including cancer and cardiovascular disease.
So while Gen Z and young millennials may be skipping wine tastings and cocktail hours, they’re hardly vice-free. Vaping is on the rise among young people, as is cannabis, nicotine pouch, and psychedelic use—the new rituals replacing “rosé all day.” And while mocktails have become increasingly popular, Samantha P. Flanagan, DO, assistant professor of clinical family and community medicine at the Lewis Katz School of Medicine at Temple University, warns that this replacement may not be as healthy as people think. “While limiting alcohol is good for our health, replacing it with sugary nonalcoholic beverages also poses a risk to health, as sugary beverages increase risk for health conditions, including diabetes,” she says.
The Dietary Guidelines for Americans, however, still recommend men consume no more than two alcoholic drinks per day and women no more than one alcoholic drink per day. “This is based off the understanding that moderate alcohol consumption is unlikely to cause significant negative health impacts,” Dr. Flanagan says. “This said, no alcohol consumption is healthier than any alcohol consumption,” she adds.
When I choose to drink, I do so with my eyes open. There’s some amount of risk involved with most things that we do, especially the adventures. Every time we get in a car or on a plane, there’s the possibility of disaster, but the chance to have all the experiences that await feel worth it. I’d rather be the person who takes a sip than the one sticking with water to play things safe. Drinking vermouth in a bar in Spain with my friends, learning the history of the islands from a communal punch bowl in Florida, or enjoying a glass of bubbly in Napa with my sister are experiences I would not have wanted to miss out on.
Of course, alcohol affects each of us differently. Some people have a negative history with it, are sensitive to its effect, or just function better when it’s completely off the table. We’re all free to choose what to include and remove from our lives and to determine how much personal risk we’re willing to accept. The problem is when other people push the idea that their alcohol-free worldview is superior and assume you’re making an uninformed decision to drink rather than a conscious one.
If the influencers believe that a teetotal life will bring them happiness, more power to them. But for me, completely cutting out champagne on the holidays with family, local wine when I travel, or a cold beer on a sunny summer day isn’t the answer.
After all the warnings and guidelines, Gore takes a gentler view. “If you’re someone who enjoys alcohol and doesn’t find it to be disruptive in your life, keep doing you.”
On a recent evening, friends and I went to a local Italian restaurant for a mom’s night out. We ate decadent dishes of pasta, raised our wine glasses in a toast, and engaged in the type of flowing conversation that just doesn’t happen over Diet Cokes.
And while it wasn’t necessarily good for me, it was also so good for me.
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