'Nobody Wants This' Cast Give Each Other Advice for Any Situation

If my partner does something that makes me jealous,

what's a good way to let them know in a constructive way?

Wow.

These feel so pointed.

Really, do you have jealousy stuff with your husband?

[dramatic music]

Hi, I'm Kristen Bell.

We are the cast of Nobody Wants This,

and this is Seek Counsel.

[upbeat music]

Okay.

Spin it, Jack.

[wheel clicking]

[Kristen] Family.

[upbeat buzzer]

Okay.

Oh, if I wanna address my family member's toxic behavior,

what would be the best approach to that?

Ooh, with a third party present, baby.

[Jackie] Okay.

With a mediator, baby.

Yes.

Already feeling like

if you're saying their toxic behavior,

it's a little dramatic of a statement

coming from your POV,

and they obviously are uprooting something strange.

So I think you guys need to be mediated

if it feels like a big problem.

Oh, I really like that.

I give it an A plus.

Yay.

And then I just have a quick follow up question,

which is can you be that for me and my toxic family member?

[Jackie] Yes, happily. Thank you.

[upbeat music]

That was good advice.

All right, I'm in need of some counsel.

Here we go.

[wheel clicking] [audience applauding]

Ooh, life.

Life.

[upbeat buzzer]

Justine.

I should always travel with my blank

if I want to make my life easier.

Oh.

[Kristen] What's your best travel hack

that we don't know about?

Ooh, sunscreen. [bell ringing]

It's like my number one thing that I bring

because I found out recently that if you get on a plane,

the UV rays are even more strong when you're in the plane.

So you wanna put sunscreen on.

Compression socks, you wanna bring a lot of chargers

for things and snacks.

Yes. I travel with snacks.

[audience applauding]

Did you hear the airplane UV thing on like

ThisCan'tPossiblyBeReal.com?

That's insane.

No, no, no, no, it's a real thing.

Well, you're closer to the sun.

So you wanna wanna put sunscreen on,

even if you're sitting in the middle of the plane,

put sunscreen on when you get on a plane.

It's so dark in a plane.

This is blowing my mind.

I'm gonna do it.

Thank you.

Me, okay.

Ready, set?

Try me.

[wheel clicking]

Ooh, friendship.

[upbeat buzzer]

Oh boy.

All right, here we go.

Okay. What is the best advice

to give a friend going through a difficult breakup?

Oh, God, what are all the things you've said to me?

That is such a hard one.

No, it's not, you know it.

Well, I think, well, I do know it,

but I think in normal situations

this maybe is not great advice,

which is like, you're gonna feel better.

Yeah, no that's great advice.

Time will heal this. [bell ringing]

And I think when I'm really in the depths of things,

and I do get a case of the sads, like if you're like,

oh, you're gonna feel better, it can be eye rolly,

but I really have to remember that during breakups

because you're in such a specific kind of pain at that time

that you just have to know

like I'm just not gonna feel like this forever.

Yeah. [audience cheering]

Issues from this relationship are what triggered you,

otherwise you're gonna drag them into the next one.

Right, and this other thing that I've always known

is that after a breakup, I always have to deal

with all of the issues

that I've had during this relationship

that affected the relationship in negative ways,

otherwise I'm just gonna drag sort of that bullshit

into the next relationship.

Yeah, [bell ringing] Kristen,

did you happen to know that before?

Well, I thought it was just brilliant though.

Thank you.

I love that advice.

[audience applauding]

Take two.

Life, just what I wanted.

[upbeat buzzer]

Oh hell, yeah.

All right.

It's like you wrote this.

If I truly wanna turn my brain off after a long day at work,

what show would you recommend I watch while decompressing?

Two, I've got two recs.

One The Great British Baking Show. [bell ringing]

It's incredible.

It's cozy, it's British.

They're all so kind to each other.

There's good vibes.

And the second one would be All Creatures Great and Small.

It's just about a vet in the middle of the countryside.

Also British.

I guess there's a recurring theme.

They like kind of like turn off my brain and move it into

like a default cozy British countryside setting.

That's my happy place.

Have you ever heard of All Creatures Green and Small?

No, I don't know if it's like.

Check it out, it's really cute.

I'm gonna watch that today.

Me too.

Are there tiny baby jumping goats?

[goat bleating]

Oh my God.

I never heard of her.

And I love British television.

It's really cute.

Bake off I'm into every day.

It's about a traveling vet.

Ooh.

Okay, I'm ready.

[wheel clicking]

Friendship.

[upbeat buzzer]

Jacquelyn.

Not my problem.

[audience laughing]

I love you.

How should a friend provide support

if they haven't been through the same life experience?

Ooh, that's a good one. That's a really good one.

Yeah, these are hard.

Um, I think something I've definitely learned

in my later years is listen, listen, listen, listen.

I've been a fixer my whole life.

Forget that.

You gotta do this.

That's crazy.

Opinions out the wazoo, which I still have,

but sometimes I swallow a little bit more now,

and I think a lot of the time, another thing,

God, it's embarrassing saying how many things you taught me,

but I'm gonna say this one too.

Ask if the person wants a listening ear or advice.

Like say do you want me to help you fix this

or do you want me to just hear you?

And I think whether you've experienced it or not,

you can still be a great listener and a good friend.

[audience sighing]

Yeah, I like that. Me too.

And if you wanna open up an argument,

you gotta ask 'em Do you wanna dance?

Oh, do you do that?

Do you wanna dance?

Yeah, do you wanna dance?

Do wanna fight with me right now because I can.

Yeah, if my husband says something ridiculous,

I'll go, okay, do you wanna dance?

And sometimes he'll be like, no.

ut mostly he says yes.

Almost exclusively. Yeah.

All right.

[wheel clicking]

Woo. Woo hoo hoo!

Woo! Let's go!

We need some romance up in here.

Yeah we do.

Yeah, just turn it to romance.

Yes! Romance!

Romance. Buzz it.

[upbeat buzzer]

Okay. Okay.

When you're in a serious relationship,

what is the best way to merge lives

and blend friends with your partner

to see if you two are compatible?

Just do it. [bell ringing]

Blending your friends means you have maybe a dinner party

where both sides come, and you see who mingles

and maybe you decide someone didn't mix well

or two people hit it off, and you go out with them again.

And merging your lives is really big and small.

It's all the things.

Totally.

I don't think there's a trick to that one.

I think also the caveat I'll give is.

Yeah.

Remember when you're merging your lives

and blending your friends, you are attempting to remember

that it is not you against the other person.

It is you and the other person against the world.

Oh, that's nice. [audience sighing]

You are now a team

and so your direction has changed a little bit.

That's a helpful thing for me to remember.

[audience applauding]

Oh, that's such a good one.

[Justine] Good job.

Oh.

Hey, nice to meet you.

I've always been a fan.

Oh wow.

[audience applauding]

Big money, big money, big money.

Hell yeah.

[upbeat buzzer]

Kristen Anne

Candles, rose petals.

Okay. Patchouli, tantra.

Okay, somebody get a fan on this woman.

Jazz. Jazz.

Okay, what should I do if my partner's not communicating

their needs in the relationship?

I am sorry to have to be so blunt.

You say to your partner,

I feel like you're not communicating your needs,

and then you wait to hear what they say in response.

Yeah, it's so true.

You've absolutely said that.

I feel confused.

Would you mind spending a little more time

clarifying for me?

'Cause this might be a me problem,

but I feel like I don't know your needs,

and I want to know your needs.

You're especially good

at the like compassion, warmth angle

instead of like I think I would be like,

well, you don't explain your needs.

You don't explain your needs.

You're not communicating your needs to me.

Yeah. And it's like,

I don't mean to be combative,

I mean to be like, I wanna know your needs.

[Kristen] Yeah. But then I have to turn

my brain literally upside down to be like, take a breath.

I want to know your needs.

I maybe this isn't, say like force myself to say

maybe this is a me thing even when I know it's not.

But it could be.

[Jackie] I know. I feel like working.

No, I'm playing, of course, it's me.

I work everything from the solution backwards.

So how do I get the best result out of this?

[audience applauding]

Justine and I are really, at least we look nice today.

I don't know if we're helping in this thing.

All right, so good at advice.

[Justine] Crazy. Yeah, I hear.

[Jackie] I hear.

Friendship!

[upbeat buzzer]

Yeah baby.

As a friend, I struggle

with being too much of a know-it-all that.

Oh. What's your advice?

Oh man, it's so hard with you, Kristen Anne Bell

because your know-it-all-ness comes

with such a level of inherent excitement and glee

and delight and Christmas dusting all over the whole thing.

Like you're just like a holiday joy that I don't get,

I don't get turned off by it.

I gotta tell you.

It never gets annoying, honestly.

Hide under the table.

You taught me a lot of things.

And I don't think you have to worry about that.

I think that if someone reflects back to you, that, okay.

[audience laughing]

I think if someone tells you, hey, like it bothers me

that it feels like you know everything,

and it makes me feel small,

maybe with that person just take a beat

before you just like your impulse is

to give them all the advice

or like jump in and tell them what to do.

Or tell them about the latest bio hack

that they didn't really wanna know about

or tell them about like how they need to like

plug their gut up with Metamucil and apple cider vinegar

before they eat pasta.

Clog the sink.

I think maybe just take a beat before you dive in,

but you're a delight.

It's really hard for me because I remember one time,

which some of my friends still quote,

I entered a room and this is exactly what I did.

You guys, microgreens?

Yeah, you're sick. What did you show me today?

The first thing you showed me today

when I walked into the room and you held up a tub of?

Creatine, but I added HBT.

And everyone of course knows what HBD is,

but for those that don't, Kristen, what is it?

[Kristen] It's a.

This is before saying hello.

Oh, no, of course.

She just pulled out like she was smuggling drugs

into the event.

Yeah. Look, it just helps you

retain muscle and protein mass,

particularly when you're in a caloric deficit.

Thanks guys.

I love you. Spin.

[wheel clicking]

Wow, I just took down the board.

Life.

[upbeat buzzer]

What's a good exercise

or practice when making new life goals?

Oh, in the last few years

I have gotten into the specificity of the intention.

[bell ringing]

I don't know, I'm always on the fence about all this stuff.

I like half don't believe it, but then I do it.

I mean I gotta just dive in head first.

You don't believe in life goals?

Yeah, I don't believe in life.

I don't believe in like

I'm always like, oh should I?

Make a manifestation list?

Yeah, like the secreting of it all.

But I do think that it's really helpful

to have specific goals and just be writing them down

and trying to visualize them

when I'm not meditating but should be.

This question's for me, for me to tell me what to do.

What do you guys think?

I do manifestation lists.

I like, for instance, when I was dating,

I wrote down every single quality that I was interested in,

in a person that I wanted to be with.

And then I got really specific beyond that list

and was like, but do you need that?

Like what are the necessities?

So like for instance, if someone's like,

I need a guy who's six four.

It's like, well, do you actually need a guy who's six four?

Do I need someone who's like funny?

Yeah, I actually really need someone who's funny.

And it's kind of a manifestation list,

but it's also a reminder for yourself

of what you really are looking for and what you're drawn to,

and it's kind of a good one to turn to.

And if someone's like kind of not considerate of your time,

you could like look back on it and be like,

oh, that is a non-negotiable for me.

And try.

Tracking it is huge.

And for those reasons I'm so glad you asked me.

[all laughing]

All right.

The library is open.

[wheel clicking]

[upbeat buzzer]

Okay, perfect.

If my partner does something that makes me jealous,

what's a good way to let them know in a constructive way?

Wow. These feel so pointed.

Really, do you have jealousy stuff with your husband?

No, not a lot.

But I have weird relationship trauma

from like dating pathological liars

and people that you're just like, you super trust,

but they're just staring at your face and holding your hand

and just lying.

So it's, and I think we are really good,

and we've both grown so much.

I'm triggered if someone turns their phone away

when I'm sitting next to them.

[Justine] Yeah. And I don't mean to be.

I wish I didn't give a fuck

that you just turned your phone away.

But I'm like, well what was that?

I love you for compassion.

I think that exactly what you just said to me

is what I would say to my partner

so that it's like framing it as like

I have this little feeling in my stomach

when that happens, and I know it has nothing to do with you,

but this is something that I feel,

and it has to do with me when this happens.

So there's like, as much transparency as possible

and coming from a place

of like the most open like soft version of yourself,

and then it gives them a chance to like come to you

and comfort you.

Yeah, no, no, no.

It was just this, it was nothing.

I just was like, yeah, exactly.

Instead of what my go-to,

which I again have thankfully grown out of, which is like,

why'd you turn your phone away?

Like I sort of get sad of like I saw it happen.

I don't wanna be sad about it,

but instead coming from this like my experience.

not you're doing something wrong.

And then it also lets them understand

like the root of what's in there

so that it's something like in the future

that they actually have like a reference point

for like oh, okay, this is something

that I wanna look out for and take care of my partner

and like make sure that they feel safe.

[audience applauding]

I love talking to you guys.

I think you're so much fun.

Same.

And you give really good advice,

and I felt safe enough to give bad advice

and not know what to say, which is something.

But you also gave good advice.

I was just gonna say you also felt safe enough to kill it

and give really good advice that's super valuable.

I like talking to you guys.

Thanks for having us, Self.

[audience applauding]

Bye.

Couldn't help myself.

[upbeat music]