5 Things to Do When Your Social Anxiety Skyrockets, According to Therapists

This is exactly what they tell their patients.

January 13, 2026

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Few things about the Golden Globes are relatable to non-celebrities, but there’s one moment getting all kinds of attention for how easy it is to identify with. In the video, which is credited to Parade, Nick Jonas can be seen hanging outside the awards show by himself, casually sipping on a water bottle.

“Social anxiety got the best of him,” fan account @velvettsunshine wrote on X when sharing the video, to which Jonas replied, “Yeah…it hit me like a gut punch.” (His new single is called “Gut Punch,” by the way.)

People flooded the comments with messages of support, noting how much they can relate. “Me at every party,” one person wrote. “Sometime[s] it is just too much,” another said. Plenty of others simply said, “I get it.”

Social anxiety disorder impacts an estimated 7% of American adults, but feeling anxious in social situations can creep up on anyone, Hillary Ammon, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Center for Anxiety and Women’s Emotional Wellness, tells SELF. “Social worries are common,” she says. “Sometimes that worry comes up with strangers, sometimes with people with whom you are close. Sometimes it’s large crowds that elicit anxiety; sometimes it’s intimate gatherings. It can be normal to have some worry about how others are perceiving you, to an extent.”

So for the next time you have your Nick Jonas “I need to take five” moment—because, let’s be real, we all have them—here’s what therapists recommend doing.

First, it’s important to note the difference between social anxiety disorder and “regular” social anxiety.

There’s social anxiety, which is when you feel uncomfortable in a social situation, but there’s also social anxiety disorder, which is when you have a strong fear or anxiety about social situations where you might be judged by others, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). People with social anxiety disorder may try to avoid social situations, or struggle through them while feeling incredibly uncomfortable. Those feelings must last for at least six months and interfere with daily life, per NIMH.

If you suspect you have social anxiety disorder, it’s important to consult with a mental health professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan, Aaron P. Brinen, PsyD, assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, tells SELF. (Otherwise, your social anxiety will likely get worse over time.) “It’s really disruptive to our lives,” he says.

But you don’t need to have social anxiety disorder to experience social anxiety. If you feel your heart racing in a social situation, or just feel uncomfortable at a party, therapists say there are a few things you can do to push through it.

1. Stay, even if you really want to leave.

When you can convince yourself to stay in a social situation—even if you’re not 100% comfortable—it tells your brain that the social moment isn’t actually a threat and that you don’t need to label future social situations as threats, Ammon says. “It also shows [you] that you can tolerate discomfort,” she adds. It’s crucial to remind yourself that it’s normal to feel anxious in social situations sometimes, Thea Gallagher, PsyD, clinical associate professor of psychology at NYU Langone Health, tells SELF. “Sometimes it’s important to just try to push through and realize it’s not going to last forever,” she says.

2. Start talking to someone.

This is the opposite of what your brain is telling you to do, but engaging with the people around you can help you get out of your own head, Brinen explains. “A lot of times when we get socially anxious, we get into our brain about being socially rejected,” he says. “Finding somebody and engaging with them can help you get out of your head.”

3. If you have to, take a time-out.

Sometimes you need a reset, and Ammon says that’s just fine. That can look like stepping outside or going to the bathroom to pull yourself together, Gallagher says. “When taking a reset break, try breathing,” Ammon suggests. (Slowing down your breath can help take you out of fight-or-flight mode, she explains.) She recommends breathing in for four seconds through your nose and then out of your mouth for six seconds. “Utilize temperature—cold air or cold water,” Ammon says. “Eat a mint. While stepping away, check in with your thoughts and what you are scared of in that moment.”

4. Try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

This is called “cognitive restructuring,” Gail Saltz, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine, tells SELF. “It’s challenging anxious thoughts and replacing them with something more realistic,” she explains. So instead of thinking, “My voice is quivering because I’m nervous and everyone is judging that,” try, “My voice is quivering, but most people are too focused on themselves and what we’re saying to notice.”

5. Remember what you can and can’t control.

It’s easy to assume everyone is judging you in a social situation, but it’s impossible to know if that’s actually happening. “It’s important to remember that nobody is thinking about us as much as we’re thinking about us,” Gallagher says. Even if other people are focused on you, there’s nothing you can do about it. “Remind yourself you cannot read others’ minds and cannot control their opinions,” Ammon says. “Lean into the uncertainty—maybe they are judging you; maybe not. Then, return to the situation.”

Again, if you suspect that you’re dealing with social anxiety disorder, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. “We’re really effective at treating social anxiety disorder,” Brinen says. “You don’t have to suffer through it.”