For as much as we’ve normalized female pleasure, squirting is often still met with wide eyes and whispers, coveted in some circles and stigmatized in others. But the truth is, squirting isn’t abnormal or rare, nor is it necessarily the end-all, be-all of sexual happenings. It’s just a uniquely pleasurable experience for plenty of people with vulvas.
The misconceptions around squirting mostly stem from a lack of conclusive research on the topic—which may not shock you, since we’re talking about (1) sex and (2) female anatomy. “I always say we know more about the surface of Mars than we do about what’s really going on in women’s bodies,” Nan Wise, PhD, cognitive neuroscientist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and author of Why Good Sex Matters, tells SELF. As a result, she says it’s hard to claim that every person with a vulva can learn how to squirt.
A 2023 study suggests 40% of adult women report ever having squirted during sex, most of them experiencing the phenomenon for the first time in their mid-20s. But a lot of experts believe it’s possible for all women, even if it comes more naturally to some.
As for what that liquid actually is, where it originates, and what makes it spray? Read on to learn what some very innovative science is beginning to reveal about squirting, plus how to make your next sex-counter wetter n’ wilder.
Common myths versus facts about squirting
Though squirting is often referred to as the female form of ejaculation, a 2022 research review revealed that this is a bit of a misconception. Technically, “female ejaculate” consists of less than 10 milliliters of fluid (roughly two teaspoons) that looks like “watered-down milk,” Dr. Wise says. Whereas squirting is the release of more than 10 milliliters—and often much more—of fluid that can shoot, spray, or gush into the air, like your own personal hot spring, or just drip or dribble out.
Another key distinction: Female ejaculate is thought to come from the glandular tissue wrapping around the urethra (the tube where you pee from)—which, depending on whom you ask, is called either the paraurethral glands, Skene’s glands, “female” prostate, or, as Dr. Wise and other sex researchers now suggest, just the prostate. This tissue likely plays a similar role to a “male” prostate, as an analysis of female ejaculate found that it contains many of the same components as semen, minus the sperm.
Squirt fluid, by contrast, is thought to originate, at least in part, in the bladder, thanks to a fascinating 2022 study involving five women whose bladders were filled with an indigo liquid; When they got down to sexy stuff and squirted, the fluid was blue.
The study above showing that squirt fluid seems to track from the bladder has fueled this age-old misconception about squirting. But the reality is, squirting and female ejaculation seem to happen together—meaning, it’s not just urine coming out. More to that point: The 2022 review found that the liquid gush contains both components of urine (like urea and creatinene) and chemicals created in the prostate.
Also, anecdotally, squirt is typically clear and odorless, which has led many experts to suspect it is a distinct fluid from pee—potentially a diluted version (and containing more urine if you don’t pee before sex).
Regardless of what’s in the squirt, though, the act of squirting is distinct from peeing too. Squirting is a result of arousal or, more typically, orgasm, and it generally feels really good, whereas involuntarily peeing during sex (a.k.a. coital incontinence) can occur at any point of play and tends to have a negative effect on your sex life.
While the line between peeing and squirting may be a little fuzzy, one thing is clear: We’re doing no one any favors by conflating the two. The idea that squirting is “just peeing” diminishes and stigmatizes what is actually a very normal (and often super hot) part of having sex for plenty of women. In fact, a 2021 study found that the squirt-is-pee narrative is a big contributor to feelings of embarrassment and shame—the last thing anyone should feel when their body is literally erupting with pleasure.
According to the 2023 survey above on squirting prevalence, most women who squirt (nearly 80%) report that it enhances pleasure and boosts their sex life—but that’s not to say squirting will necessarily improve your orgasms if you don’t currently do it. To be totally clear, whether you gush like a geyser or experience no semblance of spritz, you can have fantastic orgasms.
What does squirting feel like?
One thing that complicates the pee-versus-something-else debate is that the sensation that happens right before squirting can feel a lot like needing to pee, says Dr. Wise. It’s a reason why sex educator Marla Renee Stewart, resident sex expert for Lovers, always recommends that people pee before masturbating or having sex because “you want to be able to squirt in peace without thinking about peeing.”
Squirting has also been associated with a “deeper” or more intense orgasm (though it’s worth noting that squirting doesn’t always sync up with climax and can happen with sexual arousal too).
So can I learn how to squirt during sex?
Again, it’s a controversial topic—according to some experts, the shape of your anatomy or how you typically orgasm could make it difficult (if not impossible) to squirt.
But the experts SELF spoke with say it certainly doesn’t hurt to try. What’s important to clarify for yourself first is why you want to learn: If you feel pressured to do so—whether by a partner or because of any societal narrative that equates squirting with how “good” you are at sex—then it’s important to take a step back and remind yourself that your pleasure is the priority, Dr. Wise says. But if you’re curious to explore squirting as a way to possibly feel even better in bed, scroll on.
How to improve your chances of squirting during sex
Your pelvic floor, that hammock of muscles running from your pubic bone to your tailbone, is intimately involved in orgasm; research suggests that the stronger it is, the more easily and the more powerfully you can climax. And there’s likely a similar connection with squirting: Research also shows that the stronger the contractions of your pelvic floor during sex, the more likely you are to squirt, Stewart says.
That means it’s a good idea to get into some pelvic floor training if you haven’t squirted before, but you’re looking to get there. Kegels are certainly an option, so long as you’re doing them correctly, as are using Kegel trainers or vaginal weights and practicing deep belly breathing to allow your pelvic floor to relax in between orgasmic contractions.
The more you explore your own body and get comfortable with the way you come, the easier orgasm gets, Dr. Wise says. It’s why she and Stewart are both staunch advocates of regular self-pleasure, whether you’re looking to squirt or just amp up the way you finish.
Masturbating sufficiently helps “lay down the pleasure pathways,” Dr. Wise says, referring to the connections between the nerve endings in your vulva and the parts of your brain that allow you to feel sexually satisfied. As you strengthen those associations, “orgasm becomes more likely to find you,” she says.
You can certainly get handsy with yourself, but sex toys can take things up a notch too. (Might we suggest toys that cater to the clitoris or G-spot?)
5 steps to squirt during sex
It’s not a bad idea to get yourself a sex blanket (or put something down on your bed that you don’t mind getting wet) before you dive in. This way, you don’t have to stress over a potential mess. (Also, don’t forget to pee beforehand.)
Whatever position will help you completely relax is going to be your best bet for optimizing your squirt potential. Lying on your back and spreading your legs open is a great one to start with, whether you’re going solo or having partnered sex, as it offers ample access to your G-spot.
Speaking of your G-spot…the scant research we have on what actually prompts squirting suggests that you’ll want to try stimulating this erogenous zone, which is typically located a couple of inches up the anterior (a.k.a. belly-side) wall of the vagina. (The whole concept of a specific spot is a little misleading; most sex experts agree that it’s more of a general area that allows you to stimulate an internal part of the clitoris instead.)
With a finger, penis, or dildo, you’ll want to apply pressure to that part of the vaginal wall “with vigorous, repetitive” motions, Dr. Wise says, adding that you can also bear down (yep, kinda like you’re trying to poop) with your pelvic floor muscles while you go after that spot to potentially up your chances.
As for why that might work? When you’re massaging the G-zone, you may also be “enrolling” the prostate glands nearby, Dr. Wise says. And the extra flex of your pelvic floor may push against the bladder too, says Stewart. Though it’s worth noting, research hasn’t fully confirmed these mechanics.
Stewart also recommends incorporating some stimulation of your clitoris—that sensitive nub at the top of your vulva. After all, this button and the G-spot are part of the same network of pleasure-producing nerves.
Even just clitoral stimulation can bring you to an intense orgasm that gets your pelvic floor muscles cranking…which could have you squirting, she says. And if you’re stimulating both G-spot and clit at the same time, you could achieve the coveted blended orgasm, a full-body climax from revving up two erogenous zones at once that some say feels more intense than a typical orgasm, and may be more likely to lead to squirting.
So how do you do all this stimulating at once? One easy way is to enlist a rabbit vibrator. These are shaped with two “ears” to offer combo internal and external vibes. If you’re having sex with a partner, you could have them penetrate you (via penis or dildo) while using your fingers or a bullet vibrator to give your clit some TLC.
You don’t want to be clenching anything down there when you’re about to finish, since it’s possible you could prevent your natural squirting response, Dr. Wise says. Again, the feeling right before squirting happens is often compared to needing to pee—but if you also know that you haven’t peed in a while, you might be concerned about pee coming out on its own or alongside your squirt, perhaps causing you to hold it all in.
Stewart recommends taking deep breaths as things start to heat up, which can help your pelvic floor muscles relax, so you’re less likely to stop the waterworks before they start.
Telling you not to get worked up about squirting when you’re probably reading this article with the express purpose of squirting seems a little silly. But we have to say it: Much like having sex solely as a means to an orgasm, focusing only on squirting can suck the pleasure right out of the experience. Not to mention, overthinking during sex can make squirting even more elusive, according to both experts.
Instead, consider your journey to squirting a fun, zero-pressure way to get more acquainted with your body and potentially experience a new form of pleasure. If you channel your own personal waterfall, fantastic. But if not, you probably still felt pretty great—which is, of course, the whole point.
Related:
- 8 Ways to Have Better Sex in 2026
- Anorgasmia Might Explain Why You’re Not Orgasming When You Want to
- How to Try Edging, the Sex Technique That Takes Teasing to a Whole New Level
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